Confidence, insecurity, self esteem - Tips

We all have different parts in us (sub personalities). Those different parts do not always agree with each other. For example on one side you want this, but on the other side you want something else.

Like this there are parts in you that are insecure. Also these parts have good intentions and often want to protect you.

In the past, this part was maybe very useful, but right now it is probably more like a burden.

Listen to what this insecure part of you wants to tell you and connect with it again. Accept in a loving way that this part is there and allow it to be there. When this part feels heard and acknowledged, then there is space for change.

See it in perspective and work on your self-esteem.

Nobody can be the best, funniest, smartest and prettiest. Also you not. Don't expect that from yourself.

Maybe you're not the best, funniest, smartest or prettiest, but you are unique with a lot of qualities and definitely worthwhile!

And now the 9 benefits of high self worth:

1. Clarity about what you deserve and what you will and will not tolerate.

2. Inner strength to act on that clarity in appropriate ways.

3. Courage to move beyond fear and make whatever internal and external changes are required.

4. Willingness to grow and change.

5. Self honesty and the ability to take constructive feedback and learn from it.

6. Ability to let go and forgive.

7. Self responsibility

8. Focus on what is possible.

9. Strong sense of self and authenticity.

There are others I could mention, such as greater initiative and resilience, willingness to take risks, genuine humility, an open heart, but the 9 I have listed come can always be seen in relationships and they make such a huge difference to healing and transforming a relationship.

Keep a positivity diary in which, each day, you will write down something positive you have done or something positive that happened to you that day.

This is how you can deal with avoidance due to fear of failure:

1. Create modest, reasonable goals

2. Work with the 'ten-minutes-tric': set an alarm for ten minutes to work on your goals. That seems like hardly anything, but is actually a lot when you have postponed it for months.

3. Work in short time blocks. This way you stay creative and efficient.

4. Don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself. It can be an excuse to not do something because you are anyway 'not good enough'.

What are your qualities? When we experience difficulties and we don't know how to go about, we often forget what we are good at.

Do you know what you are good at? How can you use those qualities to solve the difficulties you are dealing with?

Explore and recognise your qualities.

"When feelings become the means of thinking, or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the memorized self."

(In Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr Joe Dispenza)

Did you know that low self-esteem can make it difficult to apologize? When we aren't confident in who we are, an apology seems like a sign of weakness.

But the truth is, people with high self-esteem more readily apologize, and apologizing can actually enhance your self-esteem. People generally respect a person more who is willing to take responsibility for his/her own failures. As people begin to respect and admire you more and more, then you start to feel better about yourself.

On the other hand, those who try to hide or excuse wrong behavior will almost always lose the respect and affirmation of others.

A sincere apology is always a sign of maturity, not a sign of weakness. Apology opens the door to forgiveness. And forgiveness means that we can continue to grow in our relationship. It's never too late to learn to apologize.

(From the author of the 5 Love languages)

We are all unique and precious. We all have a story that belongs only to us and yet is the treasury of human life on Earth.

You have something to say and something to contribute.

Never be afraid to sing your song.

Are your experiencing lack of confidence, insecurity or low self esteem and could you use some support?
A therapist or counsellor can help you.

Strengthen your sense of self

When you want to upgrade your self esteem, work from outside to inside. So start with your outside. Where something that gives you the feeling you look good.

Look at yourself in the mirror. You have to be the one that is satisfied, that's the point. You will see how fast this will have an effect. And not only for women...

When you feel fear (of failure), do a relaxation exercise. By relaxing, your fear will increase. A relaxation exercise can get a different form or shape depending on the place or the person.